A letter to my parents

this is either the best or worst time I could possibly do this.  But either way, it'll probably be good for me.  Here goes.

Dear mom and dad,
OHMYGOSH I'M SO AMAZINGLY MAD AT YOU.  Yes, I know that I most likely should care whether I fail Latin or not.  But I don't.  I don't need Latin.  And even if I did, I would do it without you two hanging over my shoulder 24/7.  It's not that I'm incapable of responsibility, it's that you're stuffing things down my throat that I don't want to be responsible for.  There's so many things I would rather do than what you're choosing for me.  I want to be a gymnast, not a swimmer.  But you pulled me out, and now it's too late to go back.  I want to spend time with my friends, not always you guys.  I want to strangle my little sister, but you won't let me, which I can understand, but do you really think that forcing us to spend time together is going to make me like her?

I want to dye my hair cherry red, get my cartilage pierced, move to a big city,  and go to concerts you wouldn't approve of.  I haven't even mentioned most of those things because I know you won't let me, and I'm not looking to stir up more trouble.  But I'm starting to wonder if maybe it would be a better idea to just say what I think, make you really mad at me, and get it over with.  But I know I can't.  I have 6 little siblings to watch out for, and I can't do anything to hurt them.

I know I'm the first kid, and basically a guinea pig.  I know that you sometimes don't know what to do with me.  According to me, neither of you had an ideal childhood, either.  And on top of that, I'm most definitely not an easy kid.  I'm thankful for all you've done for me, and I'm sorry for any pain, annoyance, or bruised toes I've caused you.  thanks for having the amazing patience to raise me, and please don't think I'm trying to get mad at you for no reason.  I promise you I have one, even if you don't fully understand it.

I'm sorry I've been so detached lately.  But every time I get you two together, the subject turns to everything I've done wrong, and I get so frustrated... When I tense my jaw, get that steely look in my eyes, and slam the door, I am mad at you.  But I'm going to go sit on my bed and shed a few silent tears.  You're pretty much the only people who can do that to me, and I think that's proof of how much I care what you think.  Maybe it's because I know that you're in control and I'm mad about that, but I think it's so much more than that.  The things that I want to do are so different from anything that you have in mind for me, or that you've done yourselves, but the fact that, in spite of all that, I still look to you when I'm in trouble, just goes to show how I still love you.

so, thanks.