Songs I listen to when I'm...
Sad: Wake Me Up When September Ends, Chop Suey, Viva la Vida, and most any Sevendust or Flyleaf
Happy: Anything with a fast beat, even if it's technically a sad song, is fine.
Bored: Green Day or Paramore, fast beat with punkish vocals, but not too hardcore.
Hyped: Seven Nation Army, Headstrong, You're Going Down
Mad: Your Betrayal, Ignorance. If I'm mad at somebody, all my hyped songs are good, and if it's just the world that's screwed up, then it's the sad songs.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
day 8
Yesterday, I organized my room. I'm EXTREMELY proud of this rare accomplishment. Although it's kind of being killed by the fact that I own more half-filled notebooks than I do clothing items and CDs combined.
Also, last night I only ate two Sister Schubert's rolls. Which is like going to a waterpark for a day and staying in the lazy river the whole time. Or watching a Mr. Bean marathon on TV and then turning it off after two episodes because you have to do dishes.
Also, I breathed yesterday. All day. Without stopping. Aren't you proud?
Also, last night I only ate two Sister Schubert's rolls. Which is like going to a waterpark for a day and staying in the lazy river the whole time. Or watching a Mr. Bean marathon on TV and then turning it off after two episodes because you have to do dishes.
Also, I breathed yesterday. All day. Without stopping. Aren't you proud?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
day 8
short term goals!
I have no idea what "short term" means, and I don't think that you mean my definition (which is until the next meal) so I'll go with "before December."
1. Get into class in 10 minutes
2. I need to start running. I should be able to go three miles without stopping by the end of November.
3. I also need to get an A time in at least one event, preferably 100 fly, by November.
4. Finish 3 pictures, and do them decently this time.
5. Not die. (that'll be the hardest one)
6. And try not to procrastinate. But I know better than to think that I'll succeed.
I have no idea what "short term" means, and I don't think that you mean my definition (which is until the next meal) so I'll go with "before December."
1. Get into class in 10 minutes
2. I need to start running. I should be able to go three miles without stopping by the end of November.
3. I also need to get an A time in at least one event, preferably 100 fly, by November.
4. Finish 3 pictures, and do them decently this time.
5. Not die. (that'll be the hardest one)
6. And try not to procrastinate. But I know better than to think that I'll succeed.
Monday, September 27, 2010
day 7
Something or someone that's made a big change in my life...
i don't have a picture of bubble t, and some idiot decided not to put one online, but you must trust me: tis amazing. except for watermelon. watermelon is grody.
but everything else: lychee, passion fruit, red milk, green apple, and almond coffee are the best, even the less awesome flavors are better than pretty much any other food that mankind has come up with. so long as you don't get bubbles, because that's like slurping on frog eggs.
i don't have a picture of bubble t, and some idiot decided not to put one online, but you must trust me: tis amazing. except for watermelon. watermelon is grody.
but everything else: lychee, passion fruit, red milk, green apple, and almond coffee are the best, even the less awesome flavors are better than pretty much any other food that mankind has come up with. so long as you don't get bubbles, because that's like slurping on frog eggs.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
day 6
hm... favorite superhero... that's an extremely hard one. But I must say, Batman is pretty awesome. Until I can figure out how to make my eyes into laser-beams. Maybe there's some sort of surgery... would I need parental consent? there's no way I'm waiting till I'm eighteen for laser-eyes. ans there's no way I could get legally emancipated and keep myself fed.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
day 5
As I'm fairly sure you've noticed, pretty much any picture of me has this background. It's a little space off the kitchen, and the cage in the background, in case you're wondering, is where my parents lock me if I'm being too crazy. (so I pretty much live my life in a cage.)
is the wall not a hideous color? please help me in my quest to get it painted a decent color, since this house is almost entirely yellow and tan, both of which I hate. And my parents haven't met you guys, so they might think you're sane and listen to you.
Friday, September 24, 2010
day 3
A habit I wish I didn't have
I only have 500 to choose from, but I'll give you the worst: I wish I were not so intolerant. As I'm typing this, I'm desperately trying not to explode at my AMAZINGLY annoying 11 year old sister. She's going through that stage where she gets mad at me for not doing her chores and thinks that annoying me is cute.
the two things I'm most intolerant of are annoying people (hi, newbies!) and boredom. So once I get sick of a project (which usually happens after I've gotten half a layer of paint on it, or sewn two seams, or written 2 chapters) I absolutely cannot finish it. which results in my drawing, awesome, random, difficult pictures that my mother thinks are creepy.
Also, I wish I didn't eat when I was bored. Because then I have to work or be fat, neither of which are good options.
I only have 500 to choose from, but I'll give you the worst: I wish I were not so intolerant. As I'm typing this, I'm desperately trying not to explode at my AMAZINGLY annoying 11 year old sister. She's going through that stage where she gets mad at me for not doing her chores and thinks that annoying me is cute.
the two things I'm most intolerant of are annoying people (hi, newbies!) and boredom. So once I get sick of a project (which usually happens after I've gotten half a layer of paint on it, or sewn two seams, or written 2 chapters) I absolutely cannot finish it. which results in my drawing, awesome, random, difficult pictures that my mother thinks are creepy.
Also, I wish I didn't eat when I was bored. Because then I have to work or be fat, neither of which are good options.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
day 3
I actually don't have a picture of me and my friends. I have friends from all over the place: people I've met online, from either of my swim teams, from youth group, from art classes. It provides great diversity, and I'm never bored, but it's kind of hard to get a picture of all of us. Plus I'll never get an amazing surprise birthday party. Which is totally okay since
a. I would be slightly suspicious if you tried to make me participate in slave labor at my friend's house on my birthday.
b. I wouldn't get to choose what we eat, which is pretty much the most amazing part of birthdays.
c. My mother would probably invite somebody I hate, because we were friends in kindergarten. She tends to do that.
And for some reason blogger is being stupid and not letting me upload a picture anyway. So it's all good.
a. I would be slightly suspicious if you tried to make me participate in slave labor at my friend's house on my birthday.
b. I wouldn't get to choose what we eat, which is pretty much the most amazing part of birthdays.
c. My mother would probably invite somebody I hate, because we were friends in kindergarten. She tends to do that.
And for some reason blogger is being stupid and not letting me upload a picture anyway. So it's all good.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
day 2
This was found on Tumblr, and because the Tumblr people are trying to use their customers for free advertisers, they're asking what my Tumblr name is.
But I suppose blogspot name is essentially the same thing.
I chose these undefined words because it was late and I was caffeinated. Like, 3 mountain dews and 2 cups of coffee in one hour caffeinated. You've all been through dead week, you know how it is.
Truth is, I don't even remember. But I like it, so o well.
But I suppose blogspot name is essentially the same thing.
I chose these undefined words because it was late and I was caffeinated. Like, 3 mountain dews and 2 cups of coffee in one hour caffeinated. You've all been through dead week, you know how it is.
Truth is, I don't even remember. But I like it, so o well.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
day 1
as you can see, I couldn't find a recent photo in which I looked like a normal human being.
1:I'm schizophrenic. And MPD. And ADD. And I have various severe psychological tendencies which cause me to be rude and unable to obey orders.
2: I'm the shortest person on my swim team (in my level, anyway) which means I have to do more work. However, it also means that I get to jump/stand/climb on stuff, which is way more fun that being able to reach the top shelf from the ground.
3: I'm a multi-tasker and jack-of-all-trades to an extreme.
4: I like reading and watching movies, but only if they're good. however, my definition of "good" manages to include everything from Chesterton and Ayn Rand to Little Miss Sunshine and My Sister's Keeper.
5: Music is a necessity. I will go nowhere without radio, ipod, or at the very least a sister willing to accompany me in singing and dancing. Also, my music is weird. Suck it up or rip out your eardrums, but don't ask me to turn it off.
6: I love drawing, painting, anything involving art, though recently I've gotten more into taking pictures than copying them.
7: QQ is the best edible thing that mankind has come up with. close contenders are soft pretzels and passion fruit juice.
8: I don't get sad, I get angry. It's much more productive, and easier to fix when it's somebody's fault.
9: I hate the color orange, and any pastel color. No idea why.
10: I hate people that think their opinions are above logic, or that they are above my opinions, or that beds should be above junk, because life is much better when your junk is piled on your bed rather than under it.
11: Remember that girl who always wore jeans, sneakers, and t-shirts and never brushed her hair? HI!
12: I like writing, but my stories always end up getting thrown away because I have difficulties with making my characters do things that pertain to an overall plotline.
13: Did you know that goldfish have an attention/memory span of about three seconds? I don't exactly remember how that pertains to me...
14: I'm a morally conservative politically liberal organized anarchist, which makes it really hard to find somebody to vote for.
15: I'm extremely impatient, which makes car trips, restaurants, and finding 15 things to tell you that aren't obvious by my behavior when bored somewhat difficult.
Monday, September 20, 2010
30 day challenge
I have a list of things to write on when I'm bored, but if something happens to my brain and I run out (yeah, like that'll ever happen) then I'll be sad. So I'm doing this. for no reason at all, pretty much, except that I now have an insane fear of running out of things to say. I mean, how scary would that be? akin to dying.
anyway. back on track.
So as to save up my ideas, I shall be using theirs'.
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one (stupid Tumblr advert)
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?
starting tomorrow. If I can find a picture in which I don't look like an imp with bedhead.
anyway. back on track.
So as to save up my ideas, I shall be using theirs'.
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one (stupid Tumblr advert)
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?
starting tomorrow. If I can find a picture in which I don't look like an imp with bedhead.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Juice!!
For some reason (or no reason, which is more common in my life,) I had a juice craving. However, the fact that we had no juice or even fruit of any juice-able sort in the house presents a problem.
I’m just wondering why the heck Americans like juice so much. I mean, of course, I’ve developed a deep love for certain sorts (I drank almost nothing but passion fruit juice for about two months once), but I still don’t know why juice is better than eating the actual fruit. Passion fruit, of course, is too acidic to eat by itself. But there is a reason that the average American would rather have a glass of orange juice than an orange.
Effort. In a country where people are willing to work out hours a day to maintain a decent figure, they’re too lazy to peel an orange.
(Normally I would get up a few pages of how good juice is, how good fruit is, and how lazy Americans are, but I’m feeling too lazy right now. Besides, my siblings are about to drain the grape juice without giving me any, and I can’t let that happen.)
False alarm. There’s a huge glass of juice next to me and another half gallon in the fridge. AnyWay, Where Were We... (hehe that’s a lot of w’s, don’t ask why that stuck out at me.)
Ah, yes, Juice. Juice is yummy (except apple and watermelon). So is fruit (except mango). Americans are lazy (no exceptions there).
Happy?
I’m just wondering why the heck Americans like juice so much. I mean, of course, I’ve developed a deep love for certain sorts (I drank almost nothing but passion fruit juice for about two months once), but I still don’t know why juice is better than eating the actual fruit. Passion fruit, of course, is too acidic to eat by itself. But there is a reason that the average American would rather have a glass of orange juice than an orange.
Effort. In a country where people are willing to work out hours a day to maintain a decent figure, they’re too lazy to peel an orange.
(Normally I would get up a few pages of how good juice is, how good fruit is, and how lazy Americans are, but I’m feeling too lazy right now. Besides, my siblings are about to drain the grape juice without giving me any, and I can’t let that happen.)
False alarm. There’s a huge glass of juice next to me and another half gallon in the fridge. AnyWay, Where Were We... (hehe that’s a lot of w’s, don’t ask why that stuck out at me.)
Ah, yes, Juice. Juice is yummy (except apple and watermelon). So is fruit (except mango). Americans are lazy (no exceptions there).
Happy?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
saracasm
Justin Bieber gets to make up words using his name. Why don't I get to do that? Is it that my voice is too deep? That's not a good reason, folks.
My new word is saracasm. Because my mother seems to think that I'm the only person on the face of the earth who says things in drawn out voices that I don't mean, I've decided to dedicate this new word to her. I realize that most of you use this method of speaking as well, but michasm or sarclarism don't sound as cool. plus i thought of it first. Those can be words if you need them to, but get your own definitions. Like "Obamanism, n.: The extremely naive belief that Obama is capable of keeping himself out of debt, much less a country."
We will begin petitions to get this word admitted into dictionaries as soon as possible, and if any of you has contacts with the director of Sesame Street, I would be most grateful if you could ask them to write an episode on this word's behalf. Please tell them that I'm a huge fan, and if getting me an autographed Oscar T-shirt is in any way realistic, that would make an amazing Christmas gift.
My new word is saracasm. Because my mother seems to think that I'm the only person on the face of the earth who says things in drawn out voices that I don't mean, I've decided to dedicate this new word to her. I realize that most of you use this method of speaking as well, but michasm or sarclarism don't sound as cool. plus i thought of it first. Those can be words if you need them to, but get your own definitions. Like "Obamanism, n.: The extremely naive belief that Obama is capable of keeping himself out of debt, much less a country."
We will begin petitions to get this word admitted into dictionaries as soon as possible, and if any of you has contacts with the director of Sesame Street, I would be most grateful if you could ask them to write an episode on this word's behalf. Please tell them that I'm a huge fan, and if getting me an autographed Oscar T-shirt is in any way realistic, that would make an amazing Christmas gift.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Why you shouldn't hang out with me during swim practice, either.
I don't know how many of you swim.
I don't know how many of those of you that swim do butterfly.
But I do know that this will horrify you if you do.
Normally, my coach is awesome. However, we have a new assistant coach. While Jason is *almost* as cool as Jay, he's nowhere near as sympathetic. Anywise, it was Jason that was overseeing the butterfly lane last night.
the set was...
10xvertical fly kick, arms up, 45sec. on, 15 sec. off.
6x25 underwater recovery fly, on 40 sec.
6x25 fly drill, on 40 sec.
20 (yeah, 20)x50 fly, on 60 sec.
My triceps have been sore since Thursday. On Friday they got worse. Monday, I had pretty much nothing but tricep work in dryland, so they were hurting pretty bad even before practice. As you can imagine, the butterfly pretty much killed me.
After practice, Jay started handing out quotes (we have a quote of the week, which we each get a copy of.) The following conversation ensued.
Jay: guess what today's quote is? it applies to the workout
Me: "Blessed be the hellishly burning triceps, for they shall receive inadequate amounts of painkillers?"
Jay: Actually, its "Everything is hard before it is easy."
Me: Breathing was easy a few hours ago.
Jay: Oh, come on, we have to get ready for that 200 fly!
( please note that I've only once swam a 200 fly, and it was not a good experience.)
Jason: that's right
Me: Next time we go through that set, you can swim it and think about how much this will help your 200 fly, and I'll sit on the block and say "Aw, come on, only 19 left! keep your recovery up!"
10 minutes later, in the locker room...
Breastrokers: wow, that was a tough practice...
Backstrokers: I hope we don't have to do that again anytime soon
Me: Moan. Groan. Whimper.
I don't know how many of those of you that swim do butterfly.
But I do know that this will horrify you if you do.
Normally, my coach is awesome. However, we have a new assistant coach. While Jason is *almost* as cool as Jay, he's nowhere near as sympathetic. Anywise, it was Jason that was overseeing the butterfly lane last night.
the set was...
10xvertical fly kick, arms up, 45sec. on, 15 sec. off.
6x25 underwater recovery fly, on 40 sec.
6x25 fly drill, on 40 sec.
20 (yeah, 20)x50 fly, on 60 sec.
My triceps have been sore since Thursday. On Friday they got worse. Monday, I had pretty much nothing but tricep work in dryland, so they were hurting pretty bad even before practice. As you can imagine, the butterfly pretty much killed me.
After practice, Jay started handing out quotes (we have a quote of the week, which we each get a copy of.) The following conversation ensued.
Jay: guess what today's quote is? it applies to the workout
Me: "Blessed be the hellishly burning triceps, for they shall receive inadequate amounts of painkillers?"
Jay: Actually, its "Everything is hard before it is easy."
Me: Breathing was easy a few hours ago.
Jay: Oh, come on, we have to get ready for that 200 fly!
( please note that I've only once swam a 200 fly, and it was not a good experience.)
Jason: that's right
Me: Next time we go through that set, you can swim it and think about how much this will help your 200 fly, and I'll sit on the block and say "Aw, come on, only 19 left! keep your recovery up!"
10 minutes later, in the locker room...
Breastrokers: wow, that was a tough practice...
Backstrokers: I hope we don't have to do that again anytime soon
Me: Moan. Groan. Whimper.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Why you should not hang out with me after swim practice.
Okay, first of all, i would like to say that I do not do this on a regular basis. Now to the good part.
Swim practice ends at seven p.m. However, my friends' mother, who was taking us home, had a meeting she had to be at, on the second floor, where there's a bunch of rooms that have full-length windows looking out into the pool area. Anyways, as you know, adults like to take a long time when we're waiting for them. So the meeting lasted until 8:30. During this time, we had exhausted all topics of conversation (school, swimming, mutual friends, mutual enemies, and why anime guys have amazing hair.)
We were incredibly bored and ready to leave when a bunch of guys started diving off the 2.5 story high platform. Now let me tell you, I sympathize with the flabby pale guy in that I do not consider the platform short. In any case, he dove really badly(like, bellyflop/wedgie/can't swim to the ladder bad), which started us on another conversation, making fun of these guys. Then one guy did an awesome flippy-twisty thingie, and waved at us. So we waved back. Then he started making "call me" signs, and since we didn't know how to pantomime "you have really ugly hair, leave us alone," we went ahead and did it back. As aforementioned, we were bored. After awhile, he was making crazy faces, trying to pantomime his phone number, and basically just being weird. However, his dives improved. We, bored, decided to ostentatiously do the same.
Anyhow, after Mrs. Friends' Mom was done (the guys had left about five minutes before, which relieved us since we didn't want to meet them on the way out) we left. But coming out of the building, her car wasn't parked where it normally is.
LeeAnn: Mom, where's the car
Mom: over there
LeeAnn: ...
Where exactly over there?
Mom: *points*
LeeAnn: ...
You may be wondering about my friend's tendency to respond to her mother using dots. But it turns out that the guys we'd watched diving were sitting on the back of their truck, smoking. In the general area of Mrs. Friends' Mom's car. Right next to the car, in fact. In even more fact, the side of the car with the door.
Amelia, who hadn't participated in the pantomiming, waved at him. The rest of us died. The end.
Swim practice ends at seven p.m. However, my friends' mother, who was taking us home, had a meeting she had to be at, on the second floor, where there's a bunch of rooms that have full-length windows looking out into the pool area. Anyways, as you know, adults like to take a long time when we're waiting for them. So the meeting lasted until 8:30. During this time, we had exhausted all topics of conversation (school, swimming, mutual friends, mutual enemies, and why anime guys have amazing hair.)
We were incredibly bored and ready to leave when a bunch of guys started diving off the 2.5 story high platform. Now let me tell you, I sympathize with the flabby pale guy in that I do not consider the platform short. In any case, he dove really badly(like, bellyflop/wedgie/can't swim to the ladder bad), which started us on another conversation, making fun of these guys. Then one guy did an awesome flippy-twisty thingie, and waved at us. So we waved back. Then he started making "call me" signs, and since we didn't know how to pantomime "you have really ugly hair, leave us alone," we went ahead and did it back. As aforementioned, we were bored. After awhile, he was making crazy faces, trying to pantomime his phone number, and basically just being weird. However, his dives improved. We, bored, decided to ostentatiously do the same.
Anyhow, after Mrs. Friends' Mom was done (the guys had left about five minutes before, which relieved us since we didn't want to meet them on the way out) we left. But coming out of the building, her car wasn't parked where it normally is.
LeeAnn: Mom, where's the car
Mom: over there
LeeAnn: ...
Where exactly over there?
Mom: *points*
LeeAnn: ...
You may be wondering about my friend's tendency to respond to her mother using dots. But it turns out that the guys we'd watched diving were sitting on the back of their truck, smoking. In the general area of Mrs. Friends' Mom's car. Right next to the car, in fact. In even more fact, the side of the car with the door.
Amelia, who hadn't participated in the pantomiming, waved at him. The rest of us died. The end.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Gilgamesh
Guess what?!
No, really, it’s not that hard to guess.
I gave my mom three guesses and she got it one the second. The first thing she guessed was that I was late for class. Which was also true, but anyway...
I have to write an essay proving that the Epic of Gilgamesh was a true story! And that’s not cool!
First off, I hate the epic. I have since third grade. So I didn’t even want to read it, much less write an essay proving that it really happened. I don’t think it did. So basically these teachers are trying to get me to write a 1000 word lie. Exactly what is that going to teach me to do in the real world? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Great moral upbringing I’m getting, huh?
They’re basically asking me to ignore over half the story (the half that makes it obvious that it did not happen) and concentrate on the slightly possible parts. So I pretty much have to ignore Enkidu. Or, as I prefer to call him, Inkydoodles. No goddess in her right mind would make a tall, strong, wild man and name him Enkidu. That’s like naming Cerberus Sir Fluffles. It just doesn’t work.
Also, there’s no way that the priestess could have tamed him in that short of a time span. Trust me, I’m still working on my dad. (Just kidding. It’s more of the other way around. To this day I refuse to make my bed, much less eat my pizza with a fork and knife)
How do you smell a rose underwater? Last I checked, you can’t smell underwater. And trying is not a good idea. Your can trust me on that, I do it often enough.
If I were dead, and a living guy came and started talking to me, I probably wouldn’t be too mad at him for dressing better than I did. I might be jealous that he was alive, but I think that I would probably let his fancy clothes go. Particularly if he brought some Death by Chocolate ice cream. I don’t think that they serve ice cream in Hell.
Last but not least, how do you get to be two thirds god and one third human? I can see half and half, but I’m honestly not sure how the genes could split in such a way so as to make you two thirds god and one third human. There’s probably some logical explanation involving a lot of math and distant ancestors that I’m too lazy to figure out, but the storyteller could have saved himself a lot of trouble explaining to little Syrian children how Gilgamesh could have had three parents by just saying he was half and half.
Anyway, it might be more productive to actually start writing the report rather than complaining about it. So I’m going to go get myself a sandwich and start to do that.
No, really, it’s not that hard to guess.
I gave my mom three guesses and she got it one the second. The first thing she guessed was that I was late for class. Which was also true, but anyway...
I have to write an essay proving that the Epic of Gilgamesh was a true story! And that’s not cool!
First off, I hate the epic. I have since third grade. So I didn’t even want to read it, much less write an essay proving that it really happened. I don’t think it did. So basically these teachers are trying to get me to write a 1000 word lie. Exactly what is that going to teach me to do in the real world? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Great moral upbringing I’m getting, huh?
They’re basically asking me to ignore over half the story (the half that makes it obvious that it did not happen) and concentrate on the slightly possible parts. So I pretty much have to ignore Enkidu. Or, as I prefer to call him, Inkydoodles. No goddess in her right mind would make a tall, strong, wild man and name him Enkidu. That’s like naming Cerberus Sir Fluffles. It just doesn’t work.
Also, there’s no way that the priestess could have tamed him in that short of a time span. Trust me, I’m still working on my dad. (Just kidding. It’s more of the other way around. To this day I refuse to make my bed, much less eat my pizza with a fork and knife)
How do you smell a rose underwater? Last I checked, you can’t smell underwater. And trying is not a good idea. Your can trust me on that, I do it often enough.
If I were dead, and a living guy came and started talking to me, I probably wouldn’t be too mad at him for dressing better than I did. I might be jealous that he was alive, but I think that I would probably let his fancy clothes go. Particularly if he brought some Death by Chocolate ice cream. I don’t think that they serve ice cream in Hell.
Last but not least, how do you get to be two thirds god and one third human? I can see half and half, but I’m honestly not sure how the genes could split in such a way so as to make you two thirds god and one third human. There’s probably some logical explanation involving a lot of math and distant ancestors that I’m too lazy to figure out, but the storyteller could have saved himself a lot of trouble explaining to little Syrian children how Gilgamesh could have had three parents by just saying he was half and half.
Anyway, it might be more productive to actually start writing the report rather than complaining about it. So I’m going to go get myself a sandwich and start to do that.
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